if i can hold
fear, creativity & hope
hello ✿
here’s a poem i wrote that encapsulates quite a lot of my feelings at the moment.
there is a spirit orb
i can hold,
if i can hold.
i will dance with it
alone, in the ebb and flow
of time.
there is a life, waiting, somewhere
how do we ever find it?
there are spirit orbs, glowing brightly like fireflies
from nowhere at all
in the blue-black night.
let’s watch them together
as the light dies
and know, in a thousand years time,
that we were here, together.
and we’ll look back and know that we were
in exactly the right place.
i’m quite scared of time, and of people moving away, and of the future in general. i was thinking about how lots of my friends will be moving away next year, to different universities etc. and how scary that change is and the idea that i will also have to make that decision soon. but i am also hopeful about the idea of the future, and a life that’s waiting for me. i want to live in a house with all my friends, with mugs and a cat. life feels extremely long, but it takes a while to feel like it starts. but it at the same time comes far too quickly, and i don’t know if i’ll ever feel ready enough.
in my life i have felt like i am in a sort of ‘thin place’ (as introduced to me by my favourite artist Emily Sprague’s wonderful newsletter).
life feels hard to grasp, and the difference between life and death feels small - but, if i can hold, there is so much life and so much colour.
finally, here is a song of mine called ‘bird with painted wings’. it would mean a lot of you could share it, or just give it a listen. as an independent artist this goes a long way.